Man...I hate Christmas so much, I mean I love the food and the stupid presents, but I hate fake relatives I only see once a year, actually I hate all my relatives, and the cold bitter snow makes it that much worse. All I want to do this Christmas is go to Betos and get a mixed breakfast burrito with a large Jamaica, mmm... then go back home and loosen my belt up and sit my ass in front of the TV and fall into a deep DEEP sleep and wake up cuddling the remote.
The remote control, I get chills just listening to it. It's one of man's greatest inventions. I'd say the remote is the modern day Holy Grail, everyone goes crazy trying to find it, but when its found it's like getting your number called after you've just ordered food. It gives you so much power and control of the TV that it almost feels undeserving. I hate when my little brothers hold the remote with two hands, its supposed to be a simple one handed device. The proper way to control the remote is with four fingers cradling the bottom, the thumb pushing the buttons and the other hand used for scratching, eating, penetrating and hitting. It's basically the reverse way to hold a hamburger.
